Romance of the Dead
by Roxius
Summary: A 'Highschool of the Dead' fic. Hirano wants some lovin' from good ol' Takashi and all the girls hook up! It's a freakin' gayfest! Warning: Contains yaoi, yuri and some crackiness. Please R & R! Read the manga on One


Hirano was busy making sure his rifle was set and ready when something strange came to his realization. His entire body shaking with fury, he screamed aloud, "WHY AM I THE ONLY MAIN CHARACTER WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND?"

Takashi, who had just finished fucking Rei's brains out, walked over to his bespectacled friend and asked, "What are you screaming about now, Hirano?" Hirano threw his rifle on the ground and exclaimed, "Dude, why am I the only one without a girlfriend?"

"What do you mean?"

"Listen to me, Takashi! You have Rei as your little lovebird, right? Shizuka, that blond-haired dyke, has Saeko as her sexfiend! So...where does that leave me? I WANT SOMEONE TO CUDDLE UP WITH TOO, DAMMIT!"

Takashi sort of understood what Hirano was going through. Still, it was odd he would be so worried about not having a girlfriend when the world is being slowly destroyed by demented zombies.

Takashi got an idea all of the sudden. "Wait right here!" he said as he ran off down the hallway. Hirano shrugged and thought, 'I bet that bastard ran off to watch Shizuka and Saeko make out! Luckily I have it on video tape...'

After a while, Takashi came back with Saya Takagi in tow. "OH GOD, YOU DON'T EXPECT ME TO MAKE OUT WITH...HER!" Hirano screamed, his pointer finger aiming at the woman's large breasts. "What's wrong with me?" Saya asked angrily. Hirano glanced away from her as he said, "I just can't do this with you...I'm sorry..."

Without hesitation, Saya smacked Hirano across the face and shouted, "HOW DARE YOU! YOU HAD GOTTEN MY HOPES SO HIGH, AND NOW YOU JUST DESTROY THEM, YOU HEARTLESS FATASS!"

Suddenly, Hirano picked up his rifle and aimed it at Saya's head. His voice was shaking as he replied, "Don't...call me that...just shut the fuck up...okay?" Saya just spat at his feet and stomped off, her eyes on the brim of tears.

Hirano shook his head in disappointment and muttered, "That girl has some major issues..." Takashi couldn't believe what just happened. He grabbed Hirano by the collar and cried, "WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST O THAT? I THOUGHT YOU WANTED SOMEONE TO-"

Hirano didn't even bother letting Takashi finish. He looked up at Takashi right in the eyes and said, "I don't love her. I...I...I love you, Takashi...Takashi-chan..."

"...WHAT?!!!!!"

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Shizuka licked a small trail of saliva off her lips and purred, "Mmm...so good...you really know how to please a woman, Saeko-chan..." Saeko, who was underneath her well-endowed lover, smirked and replied, "Well, I did learn all the tricks of the trade from my mothers..."

"You have TWO mothers?"

"Yeah. They said they used some STUFF to get one of them pregnant..."

"What stuff?"

"I dunno. It's just STUFF..."

"I see. So, wanna make out again?"

"HELL YA!"

* * *

_Back with Takashi and Hirano..._

Takashi couldn't believe his ears. 'Hirano...is in love with...with...with ME?' he thought nervously, his mind racing. Suddenly, just as he was pondering the situation, Hirano bent forward and kissed Takashi gently on the lips.

That was when Takashi felt like the universe exploded. For a chubby nerd, Takashi had to admit Hirano was a pretty damn good kisser. Plus, Takashi could see how Hirano could be considered 'cute'.

"So we kissed...now what, Takashi-chan? You love me right?"

"Yeah! Let's go have boy sex!"

''Whee!"

As Takashi and Hirano ran off to have boy sex, Rei was confused on why her lover boy hasn't come back yet. Deciding to check it out, Rei crawled out of bed, put on a long white gown and headed out to the garden.

When she walked outside, she noticed that Saya was sitting by the pond, crying. "Saya-chan, what's wrong?" Rei asked as she walked up to the other girl. Saya wiped some tears from her eyes and replied, "It's nothing, Rei-chan, it's just...it's just...I don't think anyone loves me..."

Suddenly, Rei bent forward and kissed Saya softly on the cheek. "I love you..." Rei said quietly. Without hesitation, Saya started kissing Rei rapidly. "Wait, what about Takashi?" she asked nervously.

Rei smiled and replied, "Don't worry about him. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Besides, we have ALOT of catching up to do, my dear..."

Immediately, Saya was feeling a whole lot better.

* * *

A/N: Personally, I think I like Saya X Saeko more than Shizuka X Saeko, but they all fit well with me. Besides, I'm trying to give everyone (who likes slash) what they want: Yaoi AND Yuri! 


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